Reflections on the Year: A Prayer

Just some thoughts on the place I’ve come from and the place I am now, written as a prayer to the Lord this week…

Woah. Another year just disappeared–gone. I want to absorb it, process and learn from it, but how? Lord, last year at this time I was very hurt, very scared, very broken. I did not want to be awake because it was painful just going through each day but I could not fathom sleep because I saw it as ignoring the pain of others. I was crippled, and so desperate for you that I lost all sense of the way you empower me, believe in me. I am weak, but you’ve made me strong. I need you, absolutely, but I can stand up alone with the strength you give and face the giants of insecurity and shame. Last year at the time I was living outside your will and knew it, but didn’t have the desire to change, only to be healed. Now, Lord, I seek you for you. I am still your broken, fallen, sinful child and unfaithful lover, but one who asks forgiveness and seeks shalom away from sin. My idolatry, putting others before you, is still a real temptation, but I now see that only from you can I expect to be filled. You are the Ultimate Bringer of Life. You are my Source, my Hope, my dear love.


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